YOU TOO ARE A "HERO"

In between jobs, looking for a job, check late cuz big brother don't care he didn't turn in timesheets, bills due and some are even late. You might not have it that bad, but you have more month than you have money. Your car is acting up sometimes and you just paid tuition for your kids to go to that school you been shooting for, and all your money is tied up with that. Child Support didn't come or its just late, you call your Ex-Husband, Baby Daddy, Sperm Donor or whatever name he is this week...Okay, we can go positive, you finished college and got that degree with a breeze. You even graduated and got your master's, wow you have made it. You landed that job you have dreamed of since you were a youngster, but you keep getting passed over by your colleagues for the BIG POSITION...You might even get fed up and go out on your own and start that business in your field...You have really made it, or have you?

Your business is struggling and you have household bills that need to be paid too. You feel like you want to give up and call your old boss and shoot the breeze and hope in the conversation he ask you to come back to work because they really need you...That will give you a way out and you don't have to look like you gave up, I mean he asked me and offered me alot of money so I took it....What's chicken about that?

You are in an abusive relationship, let's break it down, your man disrespects you all the time. He screams at you about the smallest things, and you don't feel appreciated AT ALL...Or, you might be in a relationship where you can't get any help financially from your mate...I mean everytime you broach the subject, they get all brand new on your ass like they don't know what you are talking about...You keep putting your money in but they don't...You thinking we have a common goal but I'm the only one making this shit happen...Whether you want to believe it or not, that is abusive...Your mate is always bringing up females or males that they see on the television and asking you why you are not more like them...I mean your man always watching videos and commenting on somebody's booty and how you used to look like that in college...And breaking out with baby, why you don't lose a few...WHAT? YOU THINKING I KNOW THIS MOFO GOT ME MESSED UP!!!!!!!!!Or fellas your woman always comparing you to Morris Chestnut or L.L., that's not cute ladies...That's abusive, don't make anyone feel bad about themselves because they are not like someone else...You don't know those people's struggles, what you see on t.v. ain't all its cracked up to be sometimes...Just because you see a couple in public and they seem all happy and he seems so attentive, doesn't mean that's how they really are when no one is looking...ARE YOU THE SAME PERSON WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING? Let me give you alittle game right here, "THE PARTY AIN'T ALWAYS LIKE THE PICNIC"...What you see, ain't always what you get...PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!

And, last but not least, are you in a PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE relationship...You try to play it off, and tell yourself he will never do it again...He apologized and gave you roses and took you out to eat or maybe even on a mini vacation...He was good for a minute, but Jerome asked alittle too many questions at Nathan's cookout and he accussed you of cheating and went up side your head again...Your man has a CONTROL PROBLEM BABY GIRL, it is very hard to change from that...I have seen it happen, but the chances are few and far between...

I can't look into a crystal ball and tell you how to overcome this but I can tell you that you might be accepting this ongoing abuse for a variety of reasons and even though I don't know your situation I do know that for your sake and the sake of your kids you need to get out...You might feel that he will kill you if you leave, you might not can financially afford to make that step...Your self-esteem might be at an all-time low and you believe him when he tells you that no one else will want you with those kids...NOT, don't believe him...That's just part of the control factor, as low as he keeps you in fear than he is IN CONTROL...

I said all this to say, whatever you are going thru in this life you are still a "HERO"...No money, little money, no education, little education, want to give up, can't afford to give up; WHATEVER IT IS, You make the choice to accept this or do something about it...LET ME REPEAT THIS, YOU MAKE THE CHOICE...It is a saying in the Jewish community and it is this, "He With the Most Gold Wins"...What that means is he with the most "CHOICES" WINS...Don't let anyone take your choices from you, don't let a "HE-SAID" TELL YOU WHAT YOU CAN AND CANNOT DO...One of my mentors, Les Brown, said it best; "A He-Said is someone who is always telling you something negative...He Said I wasn't good enough, He Said I wasn't pretty enough, He Said I wasn't smart enough or Rich enough....You tell that He Said to kiss your ACKABAKKA ,YOUR SODA CRACKIN AND TO KISS YOUR ASS!!!! He ain't running NOTHING, YOU ARE...Always remember that you are the King or Queen of your castle...

My song choice came from a little story I wanted to share with you guys...When I was about 24 and was off work from having my baby, I went to a training class at the YWCA...I wanted to get my typing speed up and to have a little time away from the kids, so my girlfriend suggested this computer class at the YW...While attending this class the women would sometimes tell of their lives and how they got to be in Nashville...I saw and heard alot of down trotten stories and the last day of class, we were having a party...So, I came up with a special treat for the women there, and it was to type the lyrics to Mariah Carey's "HERO"...I passed it out to all the attendees and the instructors and I sung along with her and they read the lyrics ...When I tell you it was not a dry eye in the house, All the instructors and the women were crying and telling how they saw a brighter future for themselves..One of the instructors called the Director an she came down and couldn't believe what was taking place..I don't think they really knew the impact that these negatives relationships had on these women...They all came up to me and we hugged for about an hour, the Y told me nothing had ever been done like that before and they would incorporate it into their program....See, I should have gotten a job for that, but didn't...
So, I want you to marinate on what Mariah is saying to you...No matter where you are in this life, YOU ARE A HERO...I KNOW ITS SOME THINGS YOU NEED TO WORK ON, BUT THAT'S OKAY....MAKE A PLAN AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU REACH YOUR GOAL...NO ONE CAN DO IT FOR YOU, YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOURSELF!!!! YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO....ITS NOT GOING TO BE EASY, BUT IT CAN BE DONE!!!!!!!

SO LETS DISCUSS OUR PLANS TO BE THE PERSON WE WERE MEANT TO BE........