SO WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN TO SAY?

I know I need got to quit all this crying, but I can’t seem to stop the flow of tears running down my face. I have Heather Headley’s, “What’s Not Being Said” piping out of the speakers on repeat and I am TORE UP. Not torn up, but TOE UP!!!! Okay, this is my dilemma, I was IN LOVE, SPRUNG, WHOOPED, COULDN’T SEE STRAIGHT, AND JUST TORE OUT THE FRAME, YES all that…This man was like Morris Chestnut, Tyrese and Shemar Moore all wrapped in one…WHHHEEEEWWWWWWWW WWWEEEE, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT JACK…

That’s enough to tear your nerves up, for real though. It didn’t start off like that though; I didn’t pay him much attention. He would do things to try and get my attention, always showing up at places where he knew I would be. My girlz would call me and say “Ya Boy Been Looking for You”, I would be like WHO? They were always like; “you know who, quit playin”…It got so bad that we called him “THE STALKER”. Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t frighten me or anything he just wasn’t my type. I thought because of his physical appearance that he wouldn’t be a good catch for me. I don’t like those guys who a lot of women would pay for, cuz you got the wrong one here pimpin. I have never met one I would pay for, NOT!!!!

I am the prize, not you, PEEP GAME! I’m just tryin to help you out, now don’t get me wrong I pamper MY MAN…He is never going to want for anything, mentally, spiritually, emotionally and most definitely not SEXUALLY…Which is why it is very important that he understands what he has in ME, do you feel me now? I think a big part of this what I’m saying comes from having one relationship and putting your time and energy cultivating that and you will have the ultimate relationship. I will laugh at my man's corny jokes, make sure he looks nice before he leaves out of the house, stay abreast to what’s going on to ensure mental stimulation, make sure all bills are paid, never be missing, cook for him everyday, keep the house clean, never argue and LOVE HIM HOW AND HOW MUCH HE WANTS, ALWAYS!!!! So, fellas when you have that kind of woman, RECOGNIZE. She is rare, and she does not have to pay for you….You should be happy to provide for her, it’s a trade off. Each one recognizing what they have, PRICELESS….Trust me your friends will be checking it out as well, and wanting to get in where they fit in…

So, when I finally gave my man a chance and went out with him, we ended up having a wonderful relationship for a long time. But, he let other people in our relationship and into our business and things got out of hand. He always told me he loved me, but when things got a little rough he couldn’t handle it. So, of course we broke up and I am sitting here listening to Heather Headley trying to make sense of it all. I see alot of females who are seriously looking for a man, and they seem to go from man to man just to not be alone. I was talking to this guy about that and decided to do a blog about dating. I want to say to the men when you tell somebody that you "LOVE THEM”, your feet better be doing what your mouth say. By that I mean, don’t tell me you love me and let your feet be cheating on me, disrespecting me and the relationship, not going to work and not paying bills, lose sight of your goals or just don’t have any, let your MAMA or your friends talk you against me, that’s not playa pimpin…Have you ever thought that these people had a hidden agenda? If you tell me God sent me to you, then you need to have tunnel vision when it comes to me. That is paramount for me, because it is NOTHING THAT ANYBODY IN THIS WORLD COULD TELL ME THAT WOULD MAKE ME DOUBT YOU… If I have given you my heart, which is not easy to get by the way, I expect you to bring whatever issues or concerns you have to me. Not seeking counsel with everybody, but ME…That’s not playing fair, and its not like you don’t know, cuz if you spending time with me I’m going to let you know…

I am sitting here marinating on Heather’s words, she sings like she has experienced this, which is very important for me. I hear so much feeling in her voice, I don’t anything about her personal life, but I know she is around the right people to give such a great product. I am a fan FOR LIFE, she speaks directly to me. The song, “In My Mind”, is really my jam…But, “What’s not Being Said”, is creeping up. I could really relate to the whole album, but these two songs really hit me where I am in my life. I don’t have any regrets or bitterness, but just love how she helps me process things about my life experiences. I spend a lot of time by myself, to learn more about myself. I think it is very important to know who you are as a person. I feel that Self dating is important, if no one pampers you, SO WHAT, pamper YOURSELF…Ladies you don’t always need a man, you will find out a lot about yourself when no one else is in your head.

So, when someone leaves you, don’t spend time blaming yourself. They might have only been there for a reason or a season, but you need to know about yourself to understand if he is meant to be there for a ‘LIFETIME”. Stop making reason men, lifetime men, by getting in a marriage that you or he don’t need. The divorce rate is steadily rising because people married season mates. Divine Order dictates, One Whole Person Uniting with One Whole Person, becoming ONE WHOLE PERSON!!!! Do you see how that works? You are not supposed to be like the “Bag Lady”, and take your entire luggage to the next relationship. Spend time with YOU, BECOME YOUR OWN BESTEST FRIEND. You need to decide if you really like yourself, like your value system, like how you take care of your finances, your work ethic and how you treat people. Once all these things are in order, THEN AND ONLY THEN should you unite with another individual in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. Work on your insecurities and issues before you make them someone else’s insecurities and issues. No one is perfect, but you know you should get that bitterness, low self-esteem, anger and controlling mess together before you mess up another life with those problems. No one can help you with these issues you have to acquire that with a lot of prayer and sublication. One of the biggest problems I have witnessed from people, is that they look into someone else’s face when they need to look at the man in the mirror. You will find all your answers there, start with YOU, FIRST!!!!

Most people want someone to love and to be loved. It is very important to your psyche and to your heart to feel secure and wanted. It just gives you a song in your heart and an infectious smile on your face. And, if you have found that lifetime mate, let us know how you keep that thang alive and kicking. In a most profound time of easy divorces and breakups, what is your secret?…And, for those of us not committed, lets talk about what steps we are going to take to get OURSELVES together…

Copyright © 2007 Taylor Paige. All Rights Reserved. You do not have permission to reproduce, copy, post in either whole or context part of these written materials without the written consent of the copyright owner.