I BELIEVE

STOP, DO NOT BACK OUT OF THIS BLOG UNTIL YOU GET WHAT I GOT FOR YOU!!!! I know you might not be used to country music, but I think you will understand if you look at the video. This video addresses alot of social issues, such as, race, faith, and relationships. Sometimes we have to get out of our comfort zone and step into someone else's shoes to fully grow as a person. We will meet alot of people in our lifetime, and you never know what impact that person will have on you. So, you better get the lesson, because you never know when there is going to be a TEST...

This video is off the chain to me, because I love how the young white boy befriends this older black man in a rural area. He is taught all about the bible and how to fix cars and fish and to just respect an older person and become a GENIUNE FRIEND. Who would have thunk it, that they would become so close that the man's death would effect him so much. So, right there you know that his family taught him to accept all kinds of people, no matter the color. I don't even think he saw the man's color as being any different from his. Racism really has no place in this society, we see it first hand everyday though. The Jena 6 case just breaks my heart and spirit, how in 2007 they can still be so closed-minded.

I was talking to my new sister Sha and we were talking about faith and belief in God. Sometimes we have to be reminded that no one has all the answers, but we have to just Believe things can get better, and they will. In our conversation we both discovered that by talking about what problems we had, we were able to see the BIG PICTURE and discover it wasn't so BAD AFTER ALL!!!! Having someone else tell you how they dealt with things and their struggles, will give you some insight into how things CAN BE. I want to say again, it is very important to bounce things off people, because they are not directly involved they can see the situation clearer sometimes...They are not coming into it with their emotions...Sometimes, emotions can cloud our visions. Step away from it, and assess it from the outside and alot of times you can come to a better understanding.

I know I have been accused of being a VERY OPTIMISTIC person, and to one in particular, that's seems POLLYANNA'ISH...But, I always see the glass half full, THAT'S JUST MY WAY...I am a REALISTIC person, but I still think no SITUATION IS UNWORKABLE... With that being said, I want to know what things you are believing God for right now...

Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn have certainly established themselves as a force in country music. And, according to the Great American Country website, the group has since sold 28 million albums and been named CMA Entertainer of the Year four times. They are one of the most consistent country music headliners today. They've also sponsored race cars, appeared on the front of Corn Flakes boxes and pioneered a torched up brand of honky tonk music that brought the bars into a much more aggressive sonic place.

The black lady with the hat in the video is my aunt's friend, I used to be around her alot when I was younger. She now does several commercials but, this is the first time I have seen her in a video. The video was taped in Nashville, so how fitting for me to showcase them today. This is where they make their home, of course.

SHE DONE BEEN

Why you keep doing this, Eugene? Huh, I'm tired of playing games with you, when are you coming clean? This is the conversation I have had with him every week, it seems, lately. I am sick of him, I am trying to stay with him for the kids sake. But, my patience is getting very thin. And, I know he has a jump off chick on Crenshaw, he swear I don't know about her. I was going over Auntie's house and saw him leaning up against my damn car, all up in her grill. WHAT THE PHUCK? He got me messed up, I'm just waiting on my raise next month and I'm OUT OF HERE, PIMPIN!!! I would love to stay here, but I don't really want him to know where I live.

See, he didn't start off like that, he was all good. But, I guess its part of my fault, because I married him when I was preggo's with our first baby. Listening to him, telling me he wasn't gone cheat no more after I caught him with his other BABY MAMA... I have forgiven him time after time, trying to be a good wife to him. But, of course, he is taking my kindness for weakness. That's what I get for taking the challenge of being with him and thinking I could walk away from that Monster he was packing...Not He was the FREAK OF THE CENTURY, NOW I KNEW I WASN'T GONE BE ABLE TO JUST WALK AWAY FROM THAT... Didn't look for the other qualities my Mama taught me...See, again, my fault...Letting my "little girl", THINK for me...WRONG ANSWER!!!! See, he got sexing on lock boy...Cuz, that's all his simple bringing to the table right now, because he is definitely living above his means. He a pretty good Daddy, sometimes...He will take the boys to the football field for practice for me when I have to work late. Now, don't get me wrong, he ain't paid for the opportunity for them to play or the uniforms. I even have to give him gas money to take them, NOW WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT?

I must have bumped my head hard, when he hit me in the bathroom. I fell on the side of the vanity, in the kids bathroom..See, that's what I'm talking bout, he has started hitting me when the kids are walking around. They haven't seen him yet, but they are going to eventually...He at least used to wait until they were asleep. I don't even have hope that he is going to stop laying his hands on me, anymore. He has promised that shit for the last 5 years. Every time I try to leave, I'm pregnant and hormones all out of wack. But, I love him and don't want to think about raising our kids alone. The kids love their Daddy, so I take all this mess he putting out. I didn't get married to get a divorce. I thought only uneducated women got abused, WRONG...But, he didn't start doing that until we got this big ass mortgage. I didn't want my credit messed up by just leaving, so I thought it would get better. I thought we were living the "American Dream", that our kids would have life better than we did growing up. But, he is just like his father, it seems. And, he has to be in complete control. So, since I make a six figure salary, he can't handle it and hits me.

But, its getting harder to hide the bruises from my family and co-workers. My administrator even called me into his office one day and asked me was anything he could do for me. You know I was too embarrassed to even look him in the face. So, I usually just deal with my clients and don't talk to the co-workers. But, thank God, it didn't keep me from making Partner at the firm. I am blessed that he went on my work ethic and not what I must be going through at home. But, once the judge, even asked to see me in her chambers to ask about my big bruised lip one day....Can you imagine how awful it is for me to have to go in court representing my clients looking all beat up? He used to only hit me where I could cover it up, but now he doesn't care. So, that further lets me know its time to GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION.

I mean, I did it right, I thought. Graduated second in my class from law school at Howard. I was on the fast track to greatness, or so that was the plan. Eugene was doing well too in his computer software company. But, he wants to be ALL FLY in the streets...So, he can't afford to be pushing a CL600 Coupe Mercedes, $3,000 suits and playing golf three times a week. That shit is not cheap, so I have to pay most of the bills at the house. Ain't that some shit, but that's okay, I'm out of here next month. I have to keep telling myself that, because that's the only thing keeping me sane right now. Cuz, if I think about my situation too long, I'm gone hurt that negro. That girl can have him, but I am selling this house we live in. She won't be laying up in MY HOUSE, NAW BABYGIRL...They must got me twisted, I know I haven't shown much spunk lately, but they won't enjoy this house. They will have to live in her section 8 with all them heathens she got ova there. Cuz, once I get my alimony and child support from him, it won't be much left for her and her kids. But, that's not my business, I have to worry about me and mine.

A little disclaimer right here for the noseys. I don't have a man, so no this is not a real story. It is totally fiction, I have never been smacked by a man in my life...

Felecia Trotter and a few other authors have put together an anthology that will help with domestic violence. Please support them in their efforts to combat this bad situation for alot of women and children in America.

Currently, listening to Gerald Levert's "She Done Been"

SAY YOU WANT TO COME HOME, HUH?

Okay, ya'll I got a dilemma. Now this mofo been showing his ass, and not giving ME the attention that I gotz to have. Now, I have given him time after time to get hisself together...And, yes I said, hisself cuz he GANGSTA. I tell Eugene I need more of his time, and I need him to handle my carnal needs. But, he always busy with something, just anything but what I need. Now you know I can't deal with that kinda mess, right? I am QUEEN BEE, I guess I need him to start reading my blogs. He thinks he is the KING, but the King is nothing without the Queen and vice versa. Putting me on hold, not having time to spend with me. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't feel SPECIAL PIMPIN!!!

So, I start talking on the phone with Johnathan. He always been around anywayz, he is my "dick in the glass case"...Don't act like ya'll didn't know. I just pull out his digits when I need a quick fix, when I wants to get my freak on and my MAN ACTING UP...And, don't think Johnathan don't know he being used. I give everybody the heads up so THEY can decide, you see what I'm saying? But, don't sleep on Johnathan now, he got it going on. He is an executive at his engineering firm, he makes a six figure salary. He lives in Belle Meade, which is as upscale as you can get in Nashville. He likes showing me off to his colleagues, I have a good time with him. He is packing some "KILLA" IN HIS PANTS AND A STRAIGHT FREAK...WHHHHEEEWWWW WWWEEEE, just had a moment right there....We travel all over the place, Jamaica, Paris, Italy and all the Caribbean Islands.

So, what's wrong with Johnathan, you ask, He is too damn CONTROLLING...He wants to keep a watchful on me at all times, DAYUM...And, he has put his hands on me once or twice when he was feeling insecure of my whereabouts . I can't be exclusive with Johnathan, but I can enjoy his ass. And, I do, on occasion. He can deal with me on the side, just not on an everyday bases. He still takes care of me financially, buys very expensive presents and everythang. He's very good to me, when I don't call myself in a relationship with him. As long as we Just FUCK Buddies, he alright.

Now, Eugene he is the kinda man I want to marry. He does well in his Computer Consulting Firm. He has been in the business for about 10 years and has quite a few high dollar clients. So, he is not slacking in the money department either. He used to be all over me and then started hanging out alot more with his boys and leaving me alone. He says he is working late and just doesn't have the time to spend with me. Aww, mkay!!!! I feel you, Playa, so I guess I betta find me something else to do too....So, I started hanging out with Johnathan, and Eugene tried to lose his damn mind. I didn't hide it either, and now he want to be all up in my grill like never before. Where did all this come from? I thought you was busy, so now you not? WHAT? He over here everyday trying to just swallow my ass up, I can't sleep cuz he got his face in my shit all night. Everytime I sit or lay down, his face in my shit, DDAAAMMMNNN, PIMPIN!!!! Begging and pleading for me to take him back...Let me cum up for air, I don't need to be sexed all day and night. Everywhere I turn he right there by my side. I guess I had to let him see what he was missing by not having me in his life. I missed him probably more than he missed me, but I couldn't show him that...

Now, you wouldn't know him anymore, his facial features even look different. He used to be all HARD AND CUTTHROAT...Now, he like putty in my hands. I'm not used to this from him, I mean he has never been this type of person with anybody his boys just shake their heads, they can't believe it...HE IS A STRAIGHT SIMP!!! Ya'll BETTA ASK SOMEBODY BOUT DIVA...I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO TAKE THE JOLLY GREEN GIANT DOWN, I'M JUST SAYING.... His Mama'nem been trying to hit me up and ask "what have I done to Her BABY BOY? Asking me did I voodoo or hoodoo him. Woman, if you don't get off my phone with that noise. I don't need to result in no witchcraft to get no man, NOT...

So, my question for you is, should I take this negro back? He over here on his one knee with flowers, a BIG ASS ROCK, and his whole damn family in tow...WHAT MUST I DO?

The painting is entitled, "My Queen, by Kolongi.

"I BELIEVE"

Have you ever had a plan and everything that could go wrong, did? I mean you took all the right steps, talked to all the right people. You got the degree and had good grades, made the Dean's List several times. Didn't party too hard and regularly visited the church of your choice. Tried not to intently hurt people, but your actions still weren't well received? Such is life, sometimes. Doing what's right doesn't always guarantee the best results. It's sad, but it's true. But, do you supposed to give up and give in? ABSOLUTELY NOT, you are supposed to dust off the seat of your pants and get up and try it again. Just like the little engine that could, give yourself hope and affirmations. "I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, UNTIL YOU JUST KNOW YOU CAN"...That is paramount right there, whatever you think you are, YOU ARE. You have to BELIEVE that things can be better, and just don't take NO for an answer. If you don't think failure is an option, THEN IT'S NOT!!!!

Now, a person who has proved this over and over again is Fantasia Barrino. I LOVE ME SOME FANTASIA BARRINO. All my kids do too, when Idol 2004 was running, we would all sit together and critique the whole show...We especially couldn't wait for Fantasia's turn to sing. Just like in the video, when Fantasia won that night, we were crying harder than she was. We still have it on disc, and still watch it periodically. WE LOVE FANTASIA, FA REAL...When she first came out, she did a stop in Nashville, and you already know I was right there at the front of the stage holding her hand. Her brother, who is a big guy by the way, made her stop holding my hand and talk to the other people...I was scared of him so you know I didn't protest, at all...She is so real, and a wonder to meet in person. It was two little girls who were in town from High Point, who wanted to meet her and she was so sweet and took several pictures with them.

Here are a few tidbits about Fantasia, listed on IMDb website. She was born, Fantasia Monique Barrino, on June 30, 1984, in High Point, North Carolina. She has one daughter, Zion Quari Barrino, born on August 8, 2001. Fantasia was the 3rd Season American Idol Winner of 2004.

Fantasia's #1 hit song "I Believe" was co-written by another American Idol contestant, Tamyra Gray from Season 1, who also contributed background vocals to "I Believe".

On May 28, 2005 she made Billboard chart history when she became the first female artist to place three songs in the top five of the Adult R&B Chart and then the very next week she became the first artist to have two of the top three songs on that chart with "Truth Is" at #2 and "Free Yourself" at #3.

Just two months after its release, her debut album (Free Yourself) sold over one million copies and went platinum.

Her signature version of "Summertime" entered the Billboard Hot 100 at number one, the first female artist to do so with her first record.

Released autobiography and best selling book, "Life Is Not A Fairy Tale" in 2005.
Dropped out of high school after a sexual assault that left her feeling embarrassed and harassed.

The Fantasia Barrino Story: Life Is Not a Fairy Tale


In this Lifetime Original Movie, Director Debbie Allen gives viewers a first hand look at the struggles Fantasia faced before her rise to fame. The movie begins with Fantasia's humble beginnings, growing up in a close knit God-fearing family that faced its own personal demons of struggling with their dreams. Fantasia faces problems with her self esteem, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy and her faith as she fights to overcome her mistakes at a young age. This movie depicted from her best selling Biopic of the same name, provides an emotional heart warming example of what you can achieve when believing in yourself.

The movie premiered on Saturday, August 19, 2006 at 9:00 PM. It was Lifetime's second most watched movie in its twenty-two year history, with more than nineteen million viewers tuning in during the August 19-20 weekend to watch. The movie was ranked the number one basic cable movie premiere in 2006 among women aged 18-49. Weekend online traffic to Lifetimetv.com rose by more than seventy percent during that weekend. [2]
In 2007, the movie and its actors including Fantasia, Loretta Devine and Kadeem Hardison have been nominated for 4 NAACP Image Awards.

When the movie debuted my whole family got together, I cooked and we sat and watched Fantasia's debut on Lifetime. Fantasia is currently cast as Celie, in Oprah Winfrey's Broadway play, "The Color Purple." My plans are to go and take in the play and support her before her contract is up in January 2008.

Marinate on these lyrics, written by Tamyra Gray, but come to life with Fantasia's soulful voice. She sings with so much feeling, you know from her swagger that, "Life is not a Fairy Tale".

Have you ever reached a rainbow's end

And did you find your pot of gold

Ever catch a shooting star

And tell me how high did you soar

Ever felt like you were dreaming

Just to find that you're awake

And the magic that surrounds you

Can lift you up and guide you on your way

[Chorus:] I can see it in the stars across the sky

Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before

Now I finally realize You see

I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive

And finally, I believe When you look out in the distance

You see it never was that far Ohhh No

Heaven knows your existance

And leads you to be everything you are Ohhh

There's a time for every soul to fly

It's in the eyes of every child

It's the hope, the love that saves the world

[I Believe Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com]

And, ohhh, we should never let it go [Chorus]

I believe in the impossible

If I reach deep within my heart

Overcome any obstacle

Won't let this dream fall apart

See I strive to be the very best

Shine my light for all to see

Cause anything is possible

When you believe yeah

[Chorus] Ohh Yeah Love keeps liftin me higher

Liftin me higher Love keeps liftin me higher

I said love keeps liften

Love keeps liften me

I said Love keeps liften

Love keeps liften me higher

Said love keeps liften me higher

I said love keeps liften me high